I had it all planned out. It was going to be so much fun.
It really was a great idea, if I do say so myself. My blog is about overcoming the kind of perfectionism that gets in our way by telling us that what we’re doing isn’t good enough. National Novel Writing Month (which I’ve written about before), is a month of hands-on practice in blasting straight through that mindset with wild writerly abandon.
So I was going to blog my entire NaNo novel publicly, right here, during the month of November.
Practice Makes Imperfect and NaNoWriMo—what a natural combination!
I got in touch with the organizers, and they were going to feature me in one of their daily Q&A spots. I would get to publicly practice what I preach in a very visible way, and maybe turn some people on to this annual event that I love so much in the process. We could cheer each other on, inspire each other, and keep that flow of raw, gloriously unedited words gushing.
Except then I heard an inner warning siren go off. It was followed by a voice:
“Wait, you’re the person who says she’s finally coming to grips with the fact that she can’t do it all, no matter how much she wants to. Who says she’s tired of trying to be superhuman. And who is already having enough trouble handling all the things on her plate now. And you’re thinking that you can manage to write 50,000 words next month on top of all that?”
Damn.
The disturbing truth is that once you embark on the path of self-awareness, it gets harder and harder to be in denial. Even when you really, really want to be.
So today I’m here to tell you that I will not be doing National Novel Writing Month this year.
And that makes me incredibly sad.
It would have been so joyous! Not to mention good for web traffic! I would have gotten exposure to many thousands of people around the world who do NaNoWriMo and visit its website, and who might have seen my Q&A feature and checked out my blog! I could have possibly been inspirational to people who were thinking about trying NaNo this year, or who were doing it but flagging in their enthusiasm, just by writing my novel publicly! And maybe some of them would have become regular readers or subscribers here at Practice Makes Imperfect! So many exclamation points that I will now miss out on!
Not to mention that I simply adore doing NaNo each November.
It is actually harder for me to not do it than to do it and drive myself into the ground. The latter has been (until recently) my modus operandi. I know very well how to pummel myself into submission over a goal that I’ve arbitrarily decided I have to achieve.
It’s much harder to admit that the world will keep on turning and that I will keep on breathing without my writing a novel next month. It’s so difficult to allow myself to just drop something that would prevent me from the self-care that I need to focus on right now.
Which is why I’m letting NaNo go this year. I need the practice in saying no to things I want so that I can say yes to things I want even more. Like health. And sanity.
BUT . . .
If you have ever wanted to write a novel, I cannot recommend NaNoWriMo highly enough. Here’s an excerpt from (again) my own previous blog post about it:
What makes the program so effective? It allows you to barrel right past your critical mind. You have to write so much so fast that quality concerns fly out the window—you just don’t have time for them. “I can edit later” becomes your mantra. And the amazing thing is that once you push past your initial resistance, get into the flow, and establish a daily writing routine, you realize it’s completely feasible to write 50,000 words or more in a month if you just keep writing and don’t overthink it.
It’s fun, it’s intense, and it’s probably the best training program for recovering perfectionists I’ve ever found.
If there is ANY part of you that is saying (perhaps very quietly) “yes!” right now, then I heartily endorse NaNoWriMo and suggest that you check out their website right away. Because this year’s novel-writing adventure begins at midnight this Saturday night.
If you decide to do it, I’d love to know so that I can holler and whoop and cheer you on!
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
That is a tough decision. Congratulations for recognizing what you really need.
NaNo comes around every year. I bet you’ll do it again and there may even be some of those exclamation marks!
This reminds me of the line in the song, “sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.”
Congrats on a hard decision- and may you enjoy the spaciousness of November without NaNo (this year!).
Thanks, JoVE and Liz . . . it helps to get a couple of pats on the back like that. Because this is HARD. I’m actually going through NaNo grief (grief for a voluntary event!) and I’m about to write to the person at the Office of Letters and Light (the non-profit fundraising arm of NaNoWriMo) to let her know I won’t be taking up their offer. I’ve been blocking on writing the e-mail for over a week, and I’ve just got to get it written already.
I realized after writing this blog post that it was my way of going public with my decision, to help enforce the decision. Delicious irony, no? Normally you’d expect someone to publicly commit to **doing** something, to help keep themselves from backing out. Here I’m making myself publicly accountable for NOT doing something to keep myself from doing it!
I have to laugh at that.
I really wanted to do NaNo this year. However, I decided that it would make much more sense for me to finish past NaNo-started WIPs that never quite made it to THE END.
I completed the first one last month. This month I am going to allow the inspiration and excitement of NaNo to propel me to finish a 2nd WIP.
Hi Roxanne–I think finishing a work in progress is a great use of “NaNovember”! And good for you for finishing another one last month, too–that’s no joke.
Go, you!
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