I’ve also been thinking a lot about next year. I’ve had a year of making great progress “in the soft,” as Havi Brooks would say (that’s the inner emotional and thought-process kind of self-work), and in 2010 I want to continue with that. However, I also have some definite goals “in the hard” (all that outer, tangible and sometimes trackable stuff) that I’d really like to achieve. Have I learned enough in the past few years to be able to have “hard” goals again without beating myself up over them? And will they block my “softer” goals, or can I find a balance between the two?

Luckily for me, Pace and Kyeli Smith, whom I’ve written about before, are launching their newest program today. It’s called ”52 Weeks to Awesome, and it involves a conveniently year-long process of completely pressure-free and non-guiltified remarkamobilization. (That’s mobilizing yourself to become even more remarkable than you already are. Of course it’s a word. Humph.)

I could talk about it, but why not let Kyeli and Pace do it themselves? I was lucky enough to catch them before they head off to Ireland very soon on their honeymoon, and they were kind enough to let me interview them.

You’re offering a year-long e-course entitled 52 Weeks to Awesome. “Awesome” is a pretty vague term—what exactly do you mean by it?

Our definition of awesome is pretty simple and twofold: a) Knowing what you want and how to get it, and b) knowing what you don’t want and how to avoid it. This knowledge coupled with this behavior makes for a pretty awesome life.

I’ve seen your list of weekly topics for 52 Weeks to Awesome, and it’s quite aweso…erm, impressive! What were your criteria for choosing which topics made the list?

Well, with 52 missions, we had lots of space for as much awesome as we could come up with. Almost. I mean, we did wind up with 5 bonus missions, because we kept coming up with stuff. But anyway. Every mission had to be simple, concrete, uncomplicated, useful – and fun. We want every week to be something that’s straightforward and simple to implement because that keeps it do-able, and if they’re fun, too, that’ll keep you opening those emails.  (:

I’ve lost count of all the programs I’ve started with enormous enthusiasm, only to berate myself when I inevitably fall off the wagon. How can people like me get around this tendency?

Yeah! We planned for that! The first week’s mission is about figuring out how to avoid exactly that. It’s called “Helping you complete the next 51 missions (and anything else you commit to).” We realize that the course won’t do anyone any good if it’s sitting at the bottom of your trash folder, so our first priority is to help you get what you need out of it.

I also tend to get very rigid in the way I define success—where maybe I’m not really doing all that badly, but my thinking becomes very black-and-white. For instance, I might start an exercise program where I decide I have to or should work out four days a week, but I only manage to do it two or three times. So in my mind, I’ve failed, my self-esteem takes a blow, and I stop working out entirely. I recognize the folly of this way of thinking, but it’s so hard to break free. Any suggestions?

*nods* That’s exactly why we made the missions optional. You’ll get out of it what you put into it, but we won’t judge you based on how many missions you complete, or how well you complete them. This is exactly why we put “Self-acceptance essentials,” “Self-esteem essentials,” and “Self-love essentials” at the very beginning of the course — weeks 2, 3, and 4. Hopefully that will be quick enough to beat the “have to”s and “should”s to the punch. (:  Last but not least, anyone who enrolls in 52 Weeks to Awesome gets a lifetime membership — you can repeat the course as often as you’d like, and you don’t even have to wait until next year. So imagine your life explodes in January, and you get behind on the course. In April, you finally have time to devote to the e-course again, but now you feel behind, like you have a mountain of backlog. Just start over. Just start over from the beginning, and we’ll re-enroll you so you start receiving Week 1 again. You can do this as many times as you like, with no worries or judgment.

What can we say to ourselves, or do, to help ourselves feel that little steps really do make a difference?

It’s like moving. When you get ready to move, you (or at least, we) look around the house and feel overwhelmed. So much stuff! So many things to do! But if you grab a box and start packing, before long you’ve got an empty house and bunches of full boxes. You can’t possibly fill 10 boxes at once — you have to take it one box at a time till you’re done. The same thing applies here: one step at a time. You can’t burst into awesome and totally change your entire life overnight (well, actually, you can, but it’s really crazy and we don’t recommend it). Reminding yourself that the really good, permanent, sticky changes take time — and that every step you take is good, no matter what — will really help put it in perspective.

What are each of your personal favorite topics in 52 Weeks to Awesome?

(Pace says) I can’t pick a favorite based on usefulness, because all 52 are useful. So I’ll pick based on which is my favorite to talk about: Week 52: Manifestation essentials. That’s when I get to go off about my personal philosophy of the nature of reality. The stuff we teach that week works regardless of your metaphysical beliefs, but it’s fun to think about and talk about anyway. (:

(Kyeli says) For me, it’s a tie between Week 10: Stopping the Downward Spiral and Week 15: What is Fear, Anyway? These have been two of the most powerful steps I’ve taken in my own personal journey towards awesome, and the two I’m most excited about sharing!

What have you each learned in creating the program?

(Pace says) Amusingly, I’ve learned a lot about the usual error. Some of the missions I thought would be easy turned out to be unexpectedly challenging for others, because those missions rely on things I’ve already internalized — but we haven’t taught yet. We wound up doing a lot of re-ordering to be sure we covered the basics before moving into the stuff that wound up being more complex. The other thing I’ve learned is… I guess I’d call it a Grand Unified Theory of Awesome. Putting all the pieces together in a way that makes sense to teach them has helped me understand how they’re all related, and the underlying principles behind it all.

(Kyeli says) Brevity with impact. I’m a rambler, and keeping the emails in “bite-sized tidbits” has been challenging and fun.

What does the program cost, and where can people sign up?

We want this to be affordable for everyone, because being more awesome is a solid foundation for world-wide change. The 52-week course, plus 5 bonus weeks, is $52 — and, from Monday the 14th (that’s today!) through Thursday the 17th, it’s on sale for $39; $39 amounts to three full months free! We even have a few apprenticeships, where you get monthly coaching and extra email support for the entire length of the course.  There are only six of those spots, and each one is $390; Registration is on our site, here.

If people want to know what other awesomeness you two ladies are up to, how can they stay connected with you?

We’re both on Twitter – @Kyeli and @PaceSmith.  Kyeli is prolific, goofy, and talks to her uterus — so you’re forewarned. We’re on Facebook as Kyeli and as Pace. And, of course, there’s our blog where we talk about being awesome, the Connection Paradigm, personal growth, and all kinds of interesting stuff!

Click here or on the graphic above to view more details

Thanks very much for your time, Pace and Kyeli! Happy packing, and have a wonderful trip to the Emerald Isle!

In the meantime, I’ll be looking over my “52 Weeks” goodies and thinking awesome thoughts about 2010.

Yeah, me too.

This post was sparked by Jennifer Louden (whom I am not accusing of being saccharine, by the way—she’s the real deal) and her Declaration of Freedom from Self-Improvement which she posted today to kick off a week on this theme on her blog.

I signed the declaration by leaving a comment, but it made me think about how easy it is to fall into empty-words, positive-thinking rhetoric and say, “Yes! Non-judgmental self-acceptance, what a great idea! I stand behind it completely!” and then go about your life as usual, vs. really trying to practice it.

And the ironic thing here is that trying to practice it can turn into the very self-improvement self-tyranny you’re attempting to unlearn. (“Damn it! I’m failing at unconditionally accepting myself!”)

That’s a fine line to walk, so I thought I’d share some thoughts on what has helped me to walk it.

Today’s post is about one of the most important attitude adjustments you can make toward overcoming what I am hereby naming “Superhero Syndrome.” (Definitely more to come on that!) I will follow up soon in another post with a list of specific techniques I’ve used.

So . . . how can you move past feeling that the pep talks (from others and from yourself) about how “you’re perfectly fine as you are” are empty positive-thinking platitudes? How can you start believing them?

Realize that accepting yourself as you are now is NOT the same thing as becoming complacent and lazy.

If you already set high (maybe even unreasonably high) standards for yourself, you will not suddenly turn into a person who lets things slide, produces shoddy results, and stops working on yourself. It’s simply not in your nature. You will continue to do your best, but if you can uncouple those efforts from the belief that they define your worth as a human being, you’ll gradually be able to relax into an acceptance what you really are—an amazing work in progress.

This is not easy, but it’s well worth the effort. Personally, I get there by:

• Self-talk. I remind myself over and over again that the essence of me is more than the sum of my actions and how successful I think they are.
• Self-observation. When I act as if the above concept is true, I notice that I feel more peaceful and happy. The more I notice that I do not, in fact, become lazy and complacent when I let go of my attempt to be 100% perfect at everything, the more I build up evidence that I’m not going to turn into an unmotivated lump.

One important thing to keep in mind here is that if you’ve been riding yourself into the ground for a long time, once you begin to realize that you can stop trying so hard all the time you may find yourself sleeping a lot. Or vegging out and staring at walls or the television. Or reading novels. Or playing lots of computer games. Or whatever you do to relax and unplug.

This is fine. You are not becoming a lethargic slob. You are catching up on much-needed rest and rejuvenation, which you may have been denying yourself for years or even decades.

When I finally admitted that I needed to slow down and nurture myself, I slept for 10 hours or more per night for four straight months, with many daytime naps on weekends. And when I came out the other side, I had more energy and enthusiasm for life than I’d felt in many years. I was able to do more.

Go easy on yourself. Don’t be like the saying on one of my all-time favorite t-shirts.

And stay tuned. There’s more to come on this reeeeeeally important topic.